A few of my friends have commented recently that they have not seen much of me since the beginning of the year. They think that I have turned into some kind of crazy crochet cat lady who only wants to be with their wool and creations.
Well this is true to a certain degree. At the moment, or for the last few weeks at least since just before Christmas last year, that is all I have wanted to do.
There is a reason for it.
For most of my adult life, and possibly in my teens as well, I have had mood swings that go up and down. For years my mother thought it was just my hormones. I am now approaching the time of life when hormones should stop swinging all over the place and calm down, but my mood swings have not!
So there must be another reason for it. Looking back I noticed that all my major drastically life changing decisions had been made during the months of November to February. These were when I was depressed with life and really low. I would quit a job or break up with a boyfriend, and often it was a spur of the momet decision taking whilst in the depth of despair.
Come spring or summer I would be full of the joys, and the life and soul of the party. I would start new jobs with energy and ethusiasm that evaded me at other times of the year, or go off on wild trips and adventures totally on my own. More recenty I would have my most creative painting surges at this time of year, and not sleep properly for days as I was constantly seeing my next creation in my head!
I have not painted anything yet this year, or since November last year when I was inspired to paint poppies after Remembrance day.
I slipped into a winter depression, helped by the fact that I had two bouts of winter bugs, and felt totally exhausted. In November I quit one job and started another, and by the middle of January had quit that one too. Exhausted and depressed with life and really not wanting to do it anymore.
I went to the docs, and was given medication, and now I am on the up again. Probably too much to be honest. However I think that it is the crochet rather than the medication that has helped bring me out of things. It has given me focus and allowed me to practice some type of mindfulness in ways that other activities can not. I am hopeless at meditation in groups, getting distracted way too easily. However I find that I can crochet all day long with the TV on in the background and totally miss the programs as I have been so focused on my crochet. It is the same when I paint, but I need light for that and in the winter it is limited.
Yesterday was the first day for a while that I did not crochet anything. I was messing about on here getting things set up. I think it may be a sign that my brain is now able to cope with other things other than just repetitive patterns. I am feeling better than I have for a long time, and finally slept better the last two nights as well.
So Crochet and Painting, have helped me at times when I really felt depressed and anxious. It’s helped me calm my mind down and focus on other things than all my worries.
Being a crazy crochet cat lady has helped me at a time when I needed it.
To me that is not crazy, that is sensible!
There are a few articles out there that may be of interest. I have added the links below.